These Days
by Optimisticynic
Summary: Four years after the fall of Ozai and the end of the 100 Year War, old allies must come together to face a new enemy-awkward reunions, painful heartaches and emotional baggage in tow.  Zutara, eventually.
1. Regrets

It has been almost four years since the end of the war.

Four years since the old fire lord had been defeated by a boy.

A boy who was once the young man's enemy, a boy the young man chased across the world, a boy he thought could be offered up in exchange for honor.

A boy who is no longer a boy and no longer an enemy.

Now he is friend, a political ally and sometimes, on a day when the young man is not too busy looking at new trade agreements and the boy who is no longer a boy doesn't have to quell some small rebellion (which is less often than either of them likes), a sparring partner.

The boy who is no longer a boy is now Avatar Aang to the rest of the world. He is still Aang (sometimes Twinkletoe) -to those who knew him as a boy.

The young man is now Fire Lord Zuko to the rest of the world. He is still Zuko (never Zuzu) to those who knew him before the old fire lord fell.

Today Aang arrived just after lunch, unannounced as usual, and practically dragged Zuko out of a meeting so they could have tea with his uncle.

Tonight they had dinner, Aang telling humorous anecdotes about people he's run into in his travels and Zuko mocking royals that he dislikes. They don't speak about the messy politics of the Fire Nation or the precarious peace that's settled over the rest of the world.

Right now, they are both staring out into the night. One thinking of the girl who couldn't love him and the other thinking of the girl he couldn't have.

Only one of them knows they are thinking of the same person.

* * *

The next day, the blind earthbender arrives at the palace.

She, too, is no longer a child. She is taller and more slender than during the days in which she was known as "The Blind Bandit." A face that was once called 'really pretty' is now beautiful, framed by long dark hair worn down to her waist. Her slight figure coupled with her beauty and pale eyes have only amplified her treatment as a fragile doll by strangers, much to her irritation and her friends' continuous amusement. The corners of her mouth still quirk up in a perpetual smirk and the past four years have done little to temper the blunt delivery of her thoughts.

At the moment, she is wondering aloud why she didn't take up Aang's invitation to take Appa for a fly since having dinner with the fire lord really means hearing him sigh and sign a stack of documents piled up in front of him (probably while scowling, she thinks to herself) while sitting at the dinner table.

Finally he sets down a scroll and says, "Toph. I would really like to sit and enjoy dinner. I just really need to finish this up first. These agreements have to be signed before the celebration."

"It's a tough world we must live in," she says half-teasingly, "if not even the Fire Lord can get what he wants."

He looks down and, hesitatingly, touches a necklace under his robe.

"It's because I'm the Fire Lord that I can't get what I want," he replies softly, his eyes turning inward at some unknown memory.

She gives him a long look. When she begins speaking again, her voice is uncharacteristically gentle.

"Sparky. You know I think you're doing a great job. And you're twice the man your father ever was. But can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Is it part of the Fire Lord job description to punish you?"

He looks confused. "What-"

She holds up a hand to stop him. "Look, all I'm saying is that you're punishing yourself worse than your father ever did. You have your honor, remember?"

His gaze hardens. "I have to do the right thing. Every day there is a new problem, a new situation that needs to be fixed. I can't..." he looks down and clears his throat, "I have to keep everything together or else he wins."

"Then be happy. Anything less and he wins, in the end."

* * *

The palace is quiet when Zuko slips out of bed. Forcing his eyes shut and counting can get old when you get past six thousand.

He slips silently to the gardens, making his way to the serene pond at the far end. He is surprised to see that he is not the only one seeking solace in the middle of the night.

"You know, you're so light on your feet you could almost be an airbender." Aang says with a slight lilt of amusement.

"Still not light enough to fool you though." Zuko replies with feigned disappointment. He sits next to Aang and pulls his robes closer around him.

The palace lights flicker across the airbender's face and, just for a moment, his eyes seem to show every moment on his true age. He stares out into the night, brow furrowed slightly.

"Do you ever have regrets, Zuko?"

Zuko snorts. Aang turns slightly towards him, a questioning look on his face.

"I mean, that's like asking 'are you alive? Do you breathe?'" He says with a touch of sarcasm.

"What are your regrets?"

Zuko turns to look at him with an incredulous look on his face.

"Do you really even need to ask?" He replies with amusement and shame present in his voice in equal parts

Aang turns back, focusing on some faraway point in the distance—or in his memory. He nods, thinking of the adventurous days of pursuit, of conflict, of confused decisions and apologies. Zuko's mind turns towards quieter moments—a glance, a touch, bright blue eyes sparkling at him. A long moment passes between the two.

Finally Zuko stands up and turns towards the palace. He brushes himself off, though his hand lingers somewhere around his chest.

"I think," he says, "that if you wake up in the morning without any regrets, then you probably aren't being very honest with yourself."


	2. Awkward Reunions

**A/N: **_After some awesome feedback (here's looking at you Kimberely T!) and some time to mull things over, I revised and lengthened this chapter. It's now almost twice as long, with a little more backstory and a few more (slight) Zutara goodies. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and set alerts to this story. You guys are amazing! I appreciate every review and alert that I get. I've got some big plans for this story and hope to keep updating at least once a week, time permitting, so keep checking back! :) _

* * *

Less than a week later, three more of Fire Lord Zuko's honored guests arrived at the palace. One in the blue hues of the Southern Water tribe, the other in the green shades of the Earth Kingdom and a third, smaller guest, dressed in a mix of both.

"You know," a deep voice rang out, "this palace isn't so bad when you get past all the red. The architecture is beautiful, even if it does lack a certain amount of…pizzazz."

"Yeah, it probably needs a slide from the second floor to the first floor, like our house," a second voice said wryly. "You should ask Zuko what he thinks about that."

Zuko smirked as he turned the corner to face the three guests.

"I would never ruin hundreds of years of Fire Nation history and architecture to add something as stupid as a slide. Especially not one built by some water tribe peasant." He said with feigned disdain.

"C'mon now, Lord jerkbender! Some water tribe zing is exactly what this place needs!" Sokka replied jovially. "But, more importantly…

"Don't mind my husband," Suki cut in, while smiling, "the only thing on his mind is building…"

"Where's the food?" Sokka said simultaneously, rubbing his hands together.

"…And meat, of course." Suki finished.

"Some things never change," Zuko said with a smirk. He turned suddenly and stared at what seemed to be a miniature palanquin atop four wheels. Instead of four horizontal poles there were two steel rods that curved upwards, stopping at the height of an average adult's waist and connected by a horizontal bar. Underneath the partial roof there lay a just-turned one year old baby boy with a tuft of auburn hair and enormous blue eyes. "What," Zuko said in a bewildered voice, "is that?"

Sokka looked affronted. "That," he said with indignation, "is my son! Don't tell me you've already forgotten who Kinto is!"

Suki rolled her eyes. "I know he's fire nation Sokka, but that doesn't make him a complete idiot." She turned and smiled at Zuko. "What you're looking at is Sokka's newest invention."

"May I introduce…the stroller!" Sokka said loudly with a wild flourish of his arms. He started pacing around it excitedly. "I just finished it before we took this trip. Since the fire nation capital has all paved streets, I thought it'd be the perfect place to do a test run! Now Suki and I can stroll—get it stroll, stroller?—with Kinto sleeping soundly."

Zuko eyed the stroller skeptically, as though expecting it to collapse at any moment and gave a grunt. He peered underneath the shade at the smiling boy. His light brown skin and silky, auburn hair were inherited from his mother but it was his bright blue eyes that clearly marked his Water Tribe heritage. Kinto reached out and grabbed onto Zuko's sleeve firmly, tugging on it and laughing softly. A small smile played on his lips. Normally, he wasn't too fond of babies—they were forever crying too loudly or demanding far too much attention—but Kinto elicited genuine affection from him. He thought back to the occasion of meeting him for the first time. He had been anxious to be the only firebender at the naming ceremony, but had been promptly knocked upside the head when he mentioned it to Katara. She had placed her hands firmly on his face, forced him to look at her, and said, "It's because of what you did to end the war and what you do every day as Fire Lord that Kinto can grow up in a peaceful world. Because of you, he never has to be afraid of firebenders." Hearing those words had comforted him, made him feel warm in that frigid climate. He had told himself the sudden spike in his body temperature had been because of her words, not his awareness of her hands on his face or the way her eyes looked at him with unfiltered tenderness.

He shook himself out of his reverie and retrieved his sleeve from Kinto's grasp.

"He's gotten so…big."

"Yeah, that's usually what happens when time passes." Toph quipped, walking up to the group. She turned her head in Sokka's direction and continued, "Kinto sure is looking more like you every day Sokka."

Sokka beamed. "You really thi-…oh. Very funny, Toph."

"I know, my wit is as sparkling as ever." She replied, as Suki and Zuko chuckled behind her.

"Come," Zuko said, motioning to his guards to pick up Suki and Sokka's bags, "let's go get Aang and uncle and have lunch before Sokka decides to start taking measurements for a slide or something equally as ridiculous."

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Zuko found Sokka in the main entrance of the palace, staring at an unknown point above him.

"You aren't actually taking measurements for a slide, are you?" Zuko asked, alarmed.

"What? Oh, no. Just…admiring the general splendor of things." Sokka replied.

"Uh huh." Zuko said skeptically.

"And maybe trying to be on the opposite side of the palace as Aang. I mean, did you see how awkward it was around him in there?" Sokka cringed as he motioned to the dining room.

"I did…notice that a bit."

"I don't want it to be that way," Sokka said quickly. "What happened with him and Katara…it wasn't really on him, you know? It's funny, when him and Katara first got together, I warned him that I'd make him pay if he ever hurt her, Avatar or not. Although, deep down, I don't think I ever thought I'd have to make good on that. The guy wouldn't even kill your dad, the most evil guy ever—no offense—so what would he ever do to Katara? The whole time they were together, I don't think I saw him get mad at her once. And then it was just…over. I think it was a long time coming on Katara's part though. She—" He stopped abruptly as he saw Toph making her way over to them. "How's everyone's favorite Avatar doing?" He asked.

Toph shrugged. "Complaining about the same thing you just were—the awkwardness. It would probably be less awkward if you stopped staring at him with a guilty look on your face and then turning away when he looks at you. _Katara_ broke up with _him_, remember? Not you."

"How do you know it was a guilty look?" Sokka spluttered.

"Because he told me."

"Oh. I didn't realize it was so obvious." Sokka said. "I don't mean to look guilty. I want to know how he's doing…I just don't know how to figure it out."

"I would suggest asking him. Talking to him, you know, the way normal people generally try to figure out how someone else is doing?" Zuko advised.

"Yeah, but when was the last time you've ever known Sokka to do something normal?" Toph said with a smirk. Sokka turned and glared at her. "I think you're probably giving me a mean look," she continued, "which of course has absolutely no effect on me since I can't see it. Listen, you've known each forever, so stop dancing around each other and go and talk to him. He's in the southern courtyard right now, by himself. He could use a friend."

Sokka looked down for a moment. "Yeah, I'll uhm…I'm going to go check on Suki and Kinto and then…yeah…" He sped away in the opposite direction of the Southern courtyard.

Toph shook her head in annoyance.

"How is Aang, in general?" Zuko asked.

"As expected. Upset. Hurt. Angrier than he really lets on. Right now he has the added burden of confusing the first girl he ever loved with being the only girl he'll ever love." She said lightly. "He says he was blindsided by it, but even Sokka could see it was over long before it actually was. Twinkletoes just didn't want to see it."

She got up and turned to go in the direction of the southern courtyard. "Sweetness spent about two years too long mixing up what she thought she should want with what she actually wanted. You've spent just as long thinking that what you actually want is something that don't deserve to have. _She_ finally figured out what she needed to do." She paused for a moment, turned towards him and cocked her head to one side. "I hope you're not too far behind."

Zuko watched her go with an inscrutable look on his face before sighing heavily and heading off in the opposite direction.

* * *

Sokka nervously pushed the stroller back and forth in front of him as he attempted to muster up the courage to walk into the southern Fire Palace courtyard. After almost an hour of listlessly pacing around their bed and complaining about the awkwardness between him and Aang, Suki had all but forced him out of their room, declaring that he wouldn't be allowed back in until he went to talk to Aang. He had at least been able to wheel out Kinto in his stroller under the guise of giving him fresh air, though his real intent was to use him as a possible distraction from what he was certain would be an excruciatingly awkward conversation.

He took a deep breath and walked into the courtyard, pushing the stroller in front of him. Aand was lying next to a fountain in the middle of square, staring idly up at the sky with his hands tucked behind his head.

"Hey there," Sokka said loudly. The heartiness in his voice seemed so obviously false that he nearly winced.

Aang shot up and gracefully floated over to him, giving Sokka a smile that was equal in forced enthusiasm. "Oh hey Sokka. How's it going?"

"Oh, you know. It's…good." He finished lamely. He forced a smile onto his face that mirrored the one glued on Aang's.

"This is going as badly as I thought it would," Sokka thought. "Time to employ diversionary tactics." He accidentally-on-purpose bumped the stroller in front of him, causing it to run into Aang's foot.

Aang looked down at the stroller with a puzzled look on his face.

"It's my newest invention! I call it…the stroller!" Sokka then maneuvered it around Aang and begin to walk around the courtyard at a leisurely pace. "I can really see it catching fire, especially in a city like this one." He laughed loudly at his own joke.

"Wow, that's really cool Sokka!" Aang said with genuine enthusiasm. "You always were the best at making plans and creating new things."

"Well…I wouldn't say that." He paused. "No, actually I would. You're exactly right."

Aang chuckled and looked at Kinto. He made a face at the toddler, who laughed and reached up towards him. Aang picked him up and tossed him lightly in the air, each time tossing him a little bit higher and letting him linger in the air longer by manipulating the air around him. Soon the boy was screaming with laughter.

After a final toss, Aang gave him back to Sokka, who held him on his hip with a large smile on his face.

"Boy, I've really missed doing that. I've really missed seeing him—he's gotten so big in the past six months." Aang said with a contented sigh.

"Kinto's missed you too." Sokka looked over at Aang. "So have Suki and I."

Aang fidgeted and looked down at his feet.

"Listen Aang. I want to say…I wanted to say sorry. About the way things have been lately. What happened with you and Katara is between you and Katara and…well…however that ends up, I just want you to know that you'll always be family to me."

Aang gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks Sokka. I really appreciate that."

"Well, really I just didn't want you to think that you would be getting out of godfather duties. I still expect huge gifts from you for every milestone along the way."

Aang laughed, freer and more genuinely than he had in weeks.

"That'll definitely be one of the perks of having the Avatar as a godfather."

* * *

For the fifth night in a row, Zuko found himself staring at the swirling water in the palace gardens.

"My nephew. How you are able to stare longingly into that water all night and still have the energy to deal with the royal heads of state all day long is very impressive." A gravelly voice behind him said with amusement.

"I don't stare longingly at it." Zuko said sharply. He turned to face his uncle's smiling face and his expression softened. "I'm just…thinking. Looking for some answers."

"I do not think that this pond, as mesmerizing as it is, can offer any answers for you tonight. Perhaps a mesmerizing old man can do for now?"

Zuko looked over at his uncle. "Do you remember when we were chasing the Ava—Aang?" Iroh nodded. "I never realized how much freedom I really had then. The freedom to choose where I wanted to go. What I wanted to do. Who I wanted…" He coughed. "I mean, who I wanted to be. But I never saw it that way. I never took advantage of it. I was so focused on capturing Aang. On regaining my honor. I thought that my scar imprisoned me and the crown would set me free. But now?" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair distractedly. "Now it seems as though my crown…and my honor…trap me more than my scar ever did."

He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He had excused himself from dinner early, citing the seemingly never-ending pile of reports on his desk as a reason to get away. Though he had been telling the truth, once he got to his study he had been unable to concentrate on any one thing for too long. Not that the reports of the rising cost of rice, the notable though not yet alarming decrease in the fishing industry, and the finer details of increased fire palace security due to the upcoming anniversary of Ozai's defeat made for particularly riveting reading.

He opened his eyes and laughed mirthlessly.

"I have a country balanced on an unstable economy, a vocal group of royals who take every opportunity to speak about how much better the nation was under my father, a general population that can't decide whether it likes me or my half-mad sister better and the thing that worries me most is what I'll do once I see a certain waterbender again. I'm pathetic."

"Now that's not true Zuko!" he exclaimed. "I would say that Azula is just plain crazy, not half mad."

Zuko huffed and crossed his arms. Iroh sobered and placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder.

"Nephew, it is not weakness to admit uncertainty in matters of the heart. It is simply…human." He paused for a moment and took in the slumped figure before him, eyes lingering on the scar that had once caused so much turmoil. "You can never really be free of your scar or your birthright. But these things, though always a part of you, do not need to define you." He drew his hands up and ignited flames in the shape of a flower. "Do not focus so closely on the thorn that pricks you that you cannot see the firedragon flower in your hand."

"Your advice remains illuminating as ever, uncle." Zuko said sarcastically, though there was a slight smile on his lips. Iroh chuckled.

"Toph said that I've spent the past few years confusing what I actually wanted with what I thought I didn't deserve." Zuko took a deep breath and looked up at the sky, as though hoping to find the answers he had long looked for in the pond beneath him. "She figured it out. Maybe before you did. Well before I could admit it to myself."

Iroh nodded, a pleased look on his face. "Miss Bei Fong is unusually perceptive. She often sees things that the rest of us with perfect vision take for granted. Of course, it is hard to ignore something that the hearts of those we care about want so desperately."

Zuko's mouth turned up slightly. "That's a little more literal in Toph's case than in yours." His smile turned into a scowl. "When she confronted me about it, she said that I gave myself away with my heartbeat."

Iroh turned to him with his eyebrow slightly raised and motioned for him to continue the story. Zuko's ears reddened slightly.

"A story for another time, Uncle. Now, I must go to bed. I have a long day ahead of me." He bowed low to his uncle and turned towards the palace.

"Zuko," Iroh said softly, "you have come a long way from the young boy lost and confused in a cave under Ba Sing Se. But now, as in then, I suggest that you think about what is that you want from your life, and why. Your destiny remains, as always, in your own hands."


End file.
